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When you start working through the beliefs in your head, you’ll see how much your own internal angst is limiting you.The pain you’re causing yourself – there’s another, far less painful route if only you’d start considering your options.It suited me to believe I’d mess it up – I never really had to try and put myself out there.I’d throw my energy into the limited capacity of a limited relationship.That fear of being abandoned, when it was realised, painful as it was it felt familiar.When they weren’t leaving, I started acting up, and then I could convince myself they’d leave anyway.

Other People’s Love tops it up although some people’s ‘oil’ is of a low grade quality that may do a lot more damage to the tank in the long run… Whoever they are that are causing you pain, you do better.

When I wasn’t in a relationship, it was like I was passing time between Mr Unavailables and assclowns, hungry to fill up the ‘vacancy’ left by the previous guy.

I craved love, intensely sought out validation, and privately lived with a black cloud over my head while I outwardly smiled at everyone.

But I had to be right so I sold myself short for several more months because of my pride.

Last week I met up with Baggage Reclaim readers both here in London and in New York and as I listened to stories from the mouths of women who deserve so much better, I wondered why so many of us sell ourselves short, loving men who don’t love us, loving men with girlfriends and wives, being verbally, mentally, and physically abused, being toyed with, used for sex, robbed of our dignity, and sometimes robbed of our money, health, friends, and family.

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